Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have aggressive nipples.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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