i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and she was petting her beer can
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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