glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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