do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We named our party play list daddy issues
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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