she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
