ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
