yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
