It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
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