i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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