nut hugger
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize