Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
