found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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