my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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