I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
