as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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