do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
