i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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