Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
