The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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