Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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