i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He felt like a one man threesome
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
