I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
third nipple confirmed
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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