not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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