Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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