This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
