I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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