So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
