i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
