He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
