I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
