Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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