Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
