drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just puked most of my soul out..
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