He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
