I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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