i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
