remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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