can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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