So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
