I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
