it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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