Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
