sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
