Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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