Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
