Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
