This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
