I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
