Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
