TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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