genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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